July 16, 2012
I showed her where our instructional videos are. Instructional tapes are aimed at a preposterously small (read: largely imaginary) audience. Like the Kama Sutra before them and sexual surrogate therapy programs after them, instructional videos treat their “pupils” as though they don’t have the common sense or natural instincts evolution earned them. Nobody needs advice about where to put a penis in heterosexual intercourse. What many do need is a way to break the ice on what can be a tricky topic to discuss. Instructional tapes offer a couple, otherwise uncomfortable talking truthfully about their bodies, the courage to take a deep breath and ask for the sex they want. Of course, where bondage or anal sex are concerned, there are questions best answered by professionals in the field; sexual positions, oral sex technique, sexual hygiene and role-playing however, are not difficult to work out for the able minded.
December 12, 2011
Urban legend and Oprah expose’s have lead to a cultural fear of what happens behind the scenes at casual dining establishments. Though I think most of that fear is unfounded I am of the opinion that waiters are disgusting. They are a boozey, rude, promiscuous fleet of wretched souls who I wouldn’t trust to park a car. That said, I have known very few who would spit in food or do anything similarly disgusting. I told my friends a few of the crazier stories from my foodservice days and I decided to share them here. The next few posts will cover my days as a waiter and bartender at some of the worst restaurants in the city of Providence.
November 28, 2011
In a capitalist society, the needs of the many must outweigh the needs of the few… or is that communism? Either way, in the workplace, it is sometimes necessary to take one for the team. So, when one of my coworkers needed Thanksgiving Day off, I agreed to work his shift. My home store is […]
September 26, 2011
When I was a teenager everything gave me an erection. Nature shows, video games, diet coke advertisements, adult men eating lollipops, practically everything was erotic to my teenaged imagination. Rather than be embarrassed about my frequent erections, I relished them. Getting boners is awesome. They feel good, they look good, and they are always a great conversation starter. As an adult I try to prevent them from happening at inopportune times. Nothing ruins a funeral or a heart-to-heart talk with your mom faster than a hard-on. One of the benefits of age is being able to control your dick when in non-sexual situations. Shopping for porn blurs the line between sexual and non-sexual. On the one hand, you are purposefully looking for material which will give you an erection. On the other hand, you are shopping in public. Browsing the bukkake shelves separates the men from the boys.